The end...

My father passed away around 3:30 this morning. He is at peace, and my mama is resting. Thank you all for your prayers and concerns.

Becca

The nightmare continues...

So, I haven't been on here since Saturday (I think.) My dad had emergency surgery Sunday morning.

They went in and found that he had a five centimeter ulceration on the front of his small intestine that blew out. They think that happened sometime Thursday or Friday night. They repaired that and had to remove the rest of the colon that they left, because when the small bowel ruptured it flooded the abdominal cavity and killed the rest of the healthy colon.

The doc's said at that point he has been living with the ulceration for many, many years and they don't know how there were no signs/symptoms.

Last night his blood pressure crashed several times and they could not get it under control. They transferred him to a larger hospital and began using meds to try and keep him out without affecting his blood pressure. He is on a ventilator.

When they got him to the new hospital, they discovered that he had formed a clot where the fork is to go down to the femoral arteries in the legs. This cut off circulation to his right leg and it had already started to become necrotic.

My mama's pastor specifically asked the surgeon what would happen if they left it, and he told both of them it would kill him. So, at 5:30 this evening they amputated my daddy's right leg above the knee (way above the knee.)

He came out of surgery at around 6:30, but as my mama says "How long can it take to cut off a man's leg?"

Daddy is still critical, but they have said that his blood pressure is better than it has been all weekend. I am asking for prayers that we will have kidney function by tomorrow. Right now they are estimating that there has been absolutely no function since Saturday evening. They are supposed to be starting dialysis this evening, once they get the second central line that they can dedicate to that in.

I know that I don't know you all very well, and that I have probably said too much. I am just so scared that he won't wake up, or that there will be another problem. I told C this morning, it feels like a nightmare I can't wake up from. Every time I wake up something else happens. Thank you for letting me talk about this here, because I am so tired and I am sure everyone else is tired of hearing about it.

Update...

So, mama called a while ago and said that the stenosis site (where they sutured the two ends of the intestine back together is still holding. Daddy developed a hole next to where the jackson-pratt port was (that is a tube attached to the incision site), and so the port started leaking fluid.

She says that the surgeon says they won't do surgery right now, but will wait for the hole to close on its own. They are going to insert a pic line tomorrow so they can give him nutrients and do the blood work without having to stick him over and over again.

So, this appears to be a blessing and at least they won't have to take him back into surgery. @ The Mother, I know you understand all of what I just wrote. If it is worse than my mother is telling me please let me know. Sometimes she doesn't tell us all the bad news at once.

Right now, she says he will be in the hospital much longer than Monday b/c they have to wait for this to heal.

Thank you all for your prayers, and please keep my dad in your thoughts. I am going to see Mama later on and pick up her laundry so that she can have come clean clothes. Please pray for her too, she sounds as though she is on her last leg.

To all of my friends, please pray!

This will be a short post, I have not posted on here about my dad out of respect for my mother, but he was diagnosed with colon cancer about a month ago.

He had surgery on Monday and last night started having what could be some really serious complications. He is having an emergency CT scan right now, and then they will tell my mom what they need to do next.

I am just asking for all of you to pray, I don't care what you believe in, just pray that my dad will make it through this. This man is larger than life to me, and I will be lost without him. I covet all your prayers. I will update as soon as I know something

FYI, not all professional dog handlers are this dumb!

So, I finally figured out how to save most of the blogs that I read to a feed reader today. I know, I am slow, but I am still figuring out this blogging thing.

I used Google, mainly because I can get it at work and still get my fix, and Google downloads items from your local largest metropolitan area (St. Louis.)

When I went to Google to help C find her way to the doctor's office after a snafu on I-270 left her stranded on a bridge I noticed this announcement, Seven show dogs die after handler leaves them in van in Jefferson County. My heart just dropped.

One of the things I haven't talked about on this site is that my family raises and shows english bulldogs. I can't imagine the pain those dogs must have gone through prior to their death. I know that I shouldn't judge, I have travelled with 5 dogs at a time and it doesn't matter how tired I am, or that I have spent the last 13 hours on the road, the dogs come first! I would post a damn link to this, but I can't figure it out, if anyone out there can help me it would be greatly appreciated.

One of the dogs that died is the top-ranked female Akita in the nation and fourth-ranked over all. That may not mean anything to people who don't show dogs, but it is very, very important! First, even if it is a show dog, it is still (most of the time) a pet. My bullies (Lucy and Elrod) live in our home and we have raised both of them from the time they were babies. On top of that, total how much it costs to show a dog and how much the dog costs.

Most people don't actually make money showing dogs, most people show dogs because they love the dogs and they want to protect the breed that they love. I am just horribly saddened that the owners were not with their pets when they crossed the rainbow bridge, and I am horrified that this young woman appears to have been merely too lazy to move the dogs to a safe place. I live about 30 minutes from her, and on the night in question it never dropped below 85 degrees and the humidity was at nearly 100 percent.

My dogs don't have nearly the fur that the akita and the husky I saw pictures of, but no one leaves my girl (Lucy) outside for more than 10 minutes right now simply because of the danger of the heat. I know that there are handlers out there that will leave their dogs in the big trailers overnight, but they are plugged in and have access to air conditioning.

I almost didn't write about this tonight, but I wanted to remind everyone please take care of all your pets and your children. Don't leave them in a vehicle, they can't take it. The vet said it takes about 8 minutes for a dog to die of heat stroke, however, I know of bulldogs that have lived for upwards of 30 minutes before succumbing to the horrible heat. My heart hurts for these poor animals and their owners.

Governor Sanford (SC), We hardly knew ye...

I'm baaaack! Bronchitis and pneumonia will not keep me down, no ma'am, it just might make me lose track of the political world for a little while!

Before Friday afternoon I had no idea who Governor Sanford was, but now I am all too well acquainted with him.

So, the short story apparently is that Governor Sanford, of South Carolina, left his office on Thursday of last week without his security staff and disappeared. He then left word with his Lt. Governor apparently Sunday or Monday that he was sorry for the confusion he had caused, and he was just hiking the appalachian trail.

Fast forward to this morning, where the esteemed governor was witnessed, by a member of the media, getting off a plane at the airport in Atlanta arriving from... Buenos Aires! What??

What made the Governor believe, even for a minute, that noone would see him leaving an airport terminal?

I was going to be exceedingly supportive of his wife for having the strength to not going to the podium with him for his walk of shame. However... it turns out she allowed everyone to believe that he WAS actually hiking the Appalachian Trail, when she knew where he was and had asked for a seperation two full weeks ago.

I really do feel bad for the Governor's family, because this could have been handled so much more easily. They could have simply made a joint announcement about their seperation and moved on. Instead, it seems as though this man may have had a temporary break with reality and unwittingly ruined his future aspirations toward higher political office.

Moving on to the next political scandal...I predict we have two weeks before the next bombshell drops.

Guess what we did this weekend???

So internets, this weekend was supposed to be super-family friendly. We had a list of possible items for Sunday. Let's see if you can guess which one actually happened!

1. City Museum (if you read my facebook this was scheduled)
2. zoo
3. Magic House
4. Nascar Speed Park
5. so-so lunch at local mexican resteraunt and afternoon of flea market shopping.

If you guessed number 5 you win! Note to self: next time get a prize...so no prize for you! We have all alternated being sick/tired for about 6 weeks now, so this weekend was supposed to be fun, FUN, FUN!!! Not so much, dear readers. I took them all summer school shopping on Saturday and I kept thinking "I don't feel so good." Now, both the Diva and the Cookie Queen have been fighting off the damn bronchitis for another week but surely I wouldn't get that, right??? Wrong!

I woke up Sunday morning feeling like a lead weight was sitting on my chest, but I am she-Woman, hear me rawr! I can do all...except I can't. We went to pick up the Diva from her friends house, and then decided it was too late to go to the City Museum and spent 20 minutes trying to get all 4 kids to agree to something local to do. They finally all agreed on Skaterz, and we headed off. My lovely partner, C, decided in mid-flight that her coughing, sneezing partner did not need to suffer that fate and detoured at the flea market.

I think the kids all had fun, I hope so and hopefully soon we will be able to have family day that does not include a trip to the ER, a pajama-fest at our house, or semi-ok mexican at the resteraunt that is now charging twice what it was last year.

And now for the coup de grace, I have enough new (new to me,anyway) books to last at least another month!

Edward the caveman on Next Food Network Star

I know, I know before you all come running to tell how my brain will turn to goo with too much reality tv... I really only like a few of them. My fave of ALL time is Top Chef, and then there is Next Food Network Star and So You Think You Can Dance.

We tend to watch all of these as our family-time shows. Even the Soldier enjoys all of these, especially the cooking and dancing shows. We were all crowded around the tv waiting to see what Bobby Flay could say to make someone cry this year, when in walks Edward. "Let's leave these ladies to talk about lipstick while we settle in" he says. What??? Is this 1850 wherein all the men leave the room to smoke and drink and the women stay to enjoy needlework?

My favorite moment of the entire episode though has to be when he introduced the rest of his team as "4 pretty girls and one great looking guy." Giada was sitting at her table with the most beautiful look of irritation on her face. I just loved it!

In case you were wondering half the fun of the show is making fun of the people on it, as the Diva said earlier "those ladies are way too happy." Anyone else with a half-goth, half-happy bunny cheerleader girl will understand what is meant by "too happy."

Thank you to all with suggestions for my son, I just needed a lighter post for tonight. I appreciate all the advice.

Why does it always happen at once?

This week my father was diagnosed with colon cancer. My mom has assured me that they are scheduling the surgery and working on scheduling the chemo as quickly as possible. C has been on light duty at work for 2 months as of this Friday. My son is alternating between losing his mind and making me crazy. The Diva decided to start a 14 year old attitude this week, one of the teeth in the right side of my head has decided it needs attention NOW, and to top it all off my ex is now officially 6 months behind in his child support. (Run-on sentence much? I know, I know!)

I just want one month of calm and quiet where I can sleep without grinding my teeth and feeling the need to choke someone. I don't know if my reaction to stress is normal...probably not. I tend to get really, REALLY angry. I can't control all the shit that is going down and so then I micromanage the stuff I can control. All of this leads to me irritating the people around me, which in turn makes me feel bad, which just leads to a round robin of dumb shit.

There has been almost constant chaos in my home since February, C and I both have family members who are sick, the kids are all doing new things and getting older, work is stressful and C is tired of light duty. I just want to go to bed and hide there for the next month. And if I get one more asshat at the child support enforcement bureau, I really will scream (probably while on the phone.) So, I know there is no point to this post, but really I just had to let a little bit of it all out or I may just lose my mind.

My son, the escape artist...WTF???

I've talked a little bit here about the problem's The Soldier has with just bein a kid, but I didn't go into detail during the introductions.

Anyway, my son has some severe anger issues probably due to some of the things that happened when he was little. The Soldier, The Princess and I lived through some very bad situations when he was little and I wasn't strong enough to stop it sometimes. That is my responsibility, however I have done my very best since I left to get him the help that he needs. This is very, VERY hard to do when he refuses to be honest about the situation. Instead he laughs about the things we went through as though any of it is actually funny.

Fast forward to this year, and I am literally lost. He has become angry and sullen and doesn't answer questions when asked by the counselor. He has done many, many things that could have (Should Have) gotten him suspended from school at the very least. Instead, the school chose to make me and C the only disciplinarians in his life. They have told us there is nothing they can do (not true.)

He has scared both of us with the things he has done, I try not to leave him at home alone with his sisters because of what could happen while I am gone. He is 12, I shouldn't have to worry about these things. But... what if he hurts one of them, what if he gets soooo angry that he actually physically hurts them? I have talked until I am blue in the face and still nothing changes. His pat answer is "I don't know."

When we went to the last counselor, his moods were getting worse almost daily. We go through what I (and the counselor) consider manic periods and what can only be termed extreme periods of deep depression. Her suggestion was to find a psychiatrist who could diagnose him properly and get him the help he needs. I thought this was a good idea, but trying to find one sometime in the next six months is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. The last time I called one they told me to take him to the ER the next time he has a breakdown. WTF??? What is the ER here going to do for my son?

I know this is rambling, but I really don't know what else to do or say. Last night I actually let him have a friend over. They live next door so I figured if there were problems it could be easily fixed. I am sitting next to my front window twenty minutes later when I see my son run through the front yard. What the hell??? How did that happen? I know he didn't levitate past me which leaves the only option being his window.

I called him back to the house and asked if he went out the window...why yes, of course mom, that is what he did. So, I thought about it, I have warned the Soldier before about not going out the window and one warning should be enough, right? I went next door and explained that because my son could not follow the rules, their son could not stay. But, I did say he could come back next weekend if my son could get his act together. I didn't yell, I didn't scream, I just told the Soldier that he didn't follow the rules, therefore his friend could not stay.

What follows is why I am asking you, internets, for help. The Soldier spent 45 minutes screaming and crying and yelling that I ruin everything and that his friend is going to hate him now. Of course he did all of this from the safety of his room after he ran down the stairs and slammed the door. I had to send the Diva next door with the friend's stuff so that they would not see The Soldier's latest meltdown. I am literally lost, I tried to let him have fun and it didn't work...

I spend my life worrying that he will hurt himself or someone else while he is having an episode. I spend my life worrying that he is going to end up incarcerated in one of the places that I work. I spend my life worrying that he is going to sneak out his window one night and not come back. I simply don't know what to do or how to fix this.

So, what about you? Do your children have issues like this? Did they? What did you do to fix it?

I detest other people's kids...or why Asthma sucks!

The Cookie Queen has asthma, and she just started summer school last Thursday. Friday she came home coughing a little bit and by Monday afternoon she was white as a sheet and wheezing so loud C could her coming in off the bus.

I took her to the doctor this morning, and here is why I waited until Wednesday... We never know what is going to happen. The most likely scenario is that she caught a cold from some other germ-infested rugrat on her first or second day at school and brought it home with her. Where any other normal child might just catch a cold and have a snotty nose for a couple of days, the Cookie Queen can have a variety of responses to germs.

She could just get a normal cold (what we were hoping for), she could have a couple of asthma attacks on Friday or Saturday and be fine by Monday (the second choice), or she could get an ear infection and have multiple episodes until this morning when I finally acknowledge that she is REALLY SICK and MUST go to the doctor immediately (what actually happened.)

My asthma was actually worse than hers when I was little and I have been blessed enough to not have severe problems as an adult, but with CQ and the Diva we have to fight every year to get them all the way through school. The Diva missed 15 days this year, and then we had to fight with the school about the absenses b/c we just can't always afford to take her to the doctor for an asthma attack. And really, not every attack requires a trip to the doctor. So, this is my giant gripe for this afternoon...I would really like for the Cookie Queen to enjoy school, but damn people quit sending your snotty children in the path of my baby.

p.s. I know children get sick every day and CQ is no different
p.p.s. I just am so tired of fighting to keep her well.
p.p.p.s. Why is the one who was nursed for 14 months and avoided every no-no item while pregnant with her the sickest???