Saturday, April 23, 2011

How do we teach our daughter's better?

I went shopping with the Diva today for the prom dress. She is going with a boy as a friend only, which I appreciate because she is still going to have a good time without all the boyfriend pressure.

What I really want to talk about though is the pressure that the Diva feels to be thin and pretty. To give you an idea, she is 5'3" and about 118 pounds. She fluctuates about 5 or 10 pounds, depending on when track season starts. Last year when looking for the perfect 8th grade dance dress she wore a size 4. This year for homecoming she still wore a size 4. Today we had to go up to a size 6. I seriously thought she was going to cry.

We don't focus on looks in our house. I'm a big girl, but I've always been a big girl so this is all I know. I remember the pressure my mom and Mawmaw put on me to diet while I was growing up, and I hated every minute of it. We try to make sure (as best we are able) that the Diva eats 3 healthy meals a day and that she doesn't skip. If I don't watch her she will occasionally skip breakfast, and of course I don't know that she actually eats the lunch she takes to school. I believe her when she tells me she does.

So my question is this, other than encouraging positive body image in our house, how do we keep her from worrying about her weight? Y'all should see her, she is so pretty. She is this tiny, petite little thing with an outstanding personality, but I hate for her to worry so about it.

I know I think "what's the big deal between a 4 and a 6, at least it's not a twenty." The dress was by a different designer, but she is still fretting about it. I want her to grow up with a healthy body image, but short of locking her in her bedroom and taking away her tv and computer I don't know how to keep her from worrying. Then I worry, what a vicious cycle.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Ok... a post about "Sister Wives"

How are you all doing? I thought we could have a light discussion about 'Sister Wives'.

I don't watch very much reality television. We watch Amazing Race and So You Think You Can Dance, but we don't watch any (up to now) that involve people's supposed 'real' relationships.

I was intrigued by Sister Wives to begin with just because it is unusual. Y'all understand, it's kind of like watching a train wreck. You just can't look away.

I was really impressed by the format of the show, it's not at all like other 'relationship' based reality shows with the constant fighting and arguing. There is no screaming, and they all seem to be very in tune with their needs and the needs of their kids.

We were discussing bizarre behavior that people exhibit while I was at work today, and I said "basically you can do what you want in your own home, as long as you don't attract undue attention by buying large amounts of weapons (just an example), or punishing your wife and children outside your home." So I ask, do you all think that all of the attention being given to the 'legality' of sister wives Kody Brown is brought about because he is on television showing off his lifestyle, or do you think someone would have eventually made life difficult for them all either way?

I don't know how I feel about it. I am a tolerant individual, and I pretty much don't care what you do in your home as long as it is not forced on me. Technically speaking Kody is not breaking any laws, he is only legally married to one of the women. My point here, I guess, is that if it works for their family and the females involved were all consenting adults then what business is it of anyone elses? Is it any different than enjoying a polyamorous lifestyle, with a little religion thrown in on the side?

And can I just say, I find their honesty about their issues to be refreshing. I find the hierarchy interesting, kind of like watching a sociology experiment gone viral. What are your thoughts?

Monday, April 11, 2011

National Crime Victim's recognition week

I am no longer a victim, I am forever more a survivor.
I have survived my past, grown, and am constantly moving forward.
Even if I have saved no one else, I saved my last child.
She will (hopefully) never know the pain of a violent home.
If you have friends who are suffering...

Don't give up! Please, I know there were friends who tried to help me.
When your friend is tired of the shit, tired of lying to her or himself...
When they are tired of the constant fear, knowing you are there will be a blessing.
Be there for them. If you are living with violence now, then get help.
Know that it won't last forever. Know that in the end, you make the decision.

The decision whether to live or die in the violence you survive in daily.
Get out, save yourself and your children (even if they don't exist yet!)
It will be the hardest, best choice you have ever made!