Times are changing...

When I first started this blog, I told you all about my parents and myself. I told you about my children, my wife, my job, etc.

Lately I have been loathe to talk about it. I don't know if it's just that everything that has gone on this year is scary for me, or if it is my continual reluctance to journal my feelings. I have always hated doing this, for me it seems to make things more real. As though I can ignore the issues if I just don't write them down.

I am happy right now, happier than I have been in years in certain parts of my life. The part of my life I consider to be real has changed. I used to view my job as the thing that I could count on for sanity and stability, stop it... yes I know I work in a prison!! It was always the stabilizing factor, always there, never changing.

In the last three months things have changed, first with the cancer scare, then with my mother, then with my job.

I don't think I mentioned anywhere that Mama is now living down here near us, and working here too. I love being able to see her almost every day. I love that my brother is home. I love the acceptance they have shown Crys and me. It saddens me that it took 4 1/2 years to find this acceptance, but overall I am happy to have it.

The job...ahhh, the job. When I took this job I naively felt that I could supervise anyone. OMG, I was so wrong. Also, I believed when I was promoted that it was their way of saying they believed in my ability to do the job. Now, I'm not so sure. After 7 months I sometimes feel that they just needed a body to fill a spot, and I was the only one they could find. I hate that. I hate losing my confidence in my ability to do the job and make the right decisions. I don't know why I feel this way.

You know what I've learned though? The job does not define me. It is the thing that I have to go do so I can live the rest of my life!! Not that I am consistantly unhappy there, but on the days when I am I think "It's okay, I get to go home and live my real life in 8 hours." I don't know when or why it became important to me to seperate myself from corrections, but I am glad that I have. It makes it easier for me to let it all go as soon as I step out the front door.

Have you ever felt this way??

Ok... a post about "Sister Wives"

How are you all doing? I thought we could have a light discussion about 'Sister Wives'.

I don't watch very much reality television. We watch Amazing Race and So You Think You Can Dance, but we don't watch any (up to now) that involve people's supposed 'real' relationships.

I was intrigued by Sister Wives to begin with just because it is unusual. Y'all understand, it's kind of like watching a train wreck. You just can't look away.

I was really impressed by the format of the show, it's not at all like other 'relationship' based reality shows with the constant fighting and arguing. There is no screaming, and they all seem to be very in tune with their needs and the needs of their kids.

We were discussing bizarre behavior that people exhibit while I was at work today, and I said "basically you can do what you want in your own home, as long as you don't attract undue attention by buying large amounts of weapons (just an example), or punishing your wife and children outside your home." So I ask, do you all think that all of the attention being given to the 'legality' of sister wives Kody Brown is brought about because he is on television showing off his lifestyle, or do you think someone would have eventually made life difficult for them all either way?

I don't know how I feel about it. I am a tolerant individual, and I pretty much don't care what you do in your home as long as it is not forced on me. Technically speaking Kody is not breaking any laws, he is only legally married to one of the women. My point here, I guess, is that if it works for their family and the females involved were all consenting adults then what business is it of anyone elses? Is it any different than enjoying a polyamorous lifestyle, with a little religion thrown in on the side?

And can I just say, I find their honesty about their issues to be refreshing. I find the hierarchy interesting, kind of like watching a sociology experiment gone viral. What are your thoughts?

Two children graduate tomorrow...I feel Ooooooold!

I am not going to talk about how I feel ancient today, no I am going to avoid the fact that I feel Ooooolld right now. No one ever told me that I was going to have one in eigth grade and one in kindergarden at the same time.

Tomorrow, the Diva (8th) and the Fairy Princess (K) graduate. They are both going to wear pretty dresses (only one of which I had to pay for) and pretty shoes, and do their hair. They are both going to sing (??)

Now...here comes the ignorant part! The Diva (remember I said 8th) graduates at 9:00 am tomorrow. Why?? Because then they have a bowling party field trip after that. Again why?????? Oh yeah, so the Diva and the Boy (boy-friend??) could tell both sets of parents that they don't want to go bowling. Especially not in the new dress (yes, I bought another DAMN dress.) So, I guess they expect me to make her go sit in a classroom and watch a movie while all of her friends go to the stupid bowling alley (the same one that does not carry shoes in the Boy's size.) Well...that is not going to happen my friends. We are going to take her to lunch and give her flowers, and come home and nap.

Then, when the other three kiddos get off the bus, I will get up and re-bathe the Fairy Princess and do her hair and put her dress on. Then I will take her to her Kindergarten graduation at 6 pm. Personally, I think they did this whole mess backwards.

So, think of me tomorrow when I have to re-do my makeup to go to the second graduation of the day, where I will undoubtedly cry harder. And think of the Fairy Princess, who told me the other day that all she wanted for graduation was her Grandpa. We all still miss him so much, but it is hardest on the baby. I wait with baited breath for the next big step...

And....They WON!!!

So, yes the Indians won. They are AWESOME!!! I have to tell you, I never thought I could get so excited about middle school sports, but those boys rock!!

They were behind most of the game, but they never gave up. They just kept plugging away, and tied with 2.2 seconds left on the clock! Then it took two rounds of overtime and plenty of penalties, but they won by 5 points! I am not the mom to any of these boys, but my Diva (the cheerleader) she sure does make this mama proud!

And to top it all...she called me her step-mom tonight!! I don't know if anyone else has lived in a blended family, but I have waited almost three years to hear that word! Normally I am just 'my Rebecca', but tonight to one of her friends I became her step-mom. I actually teared up, she made me so happy!

So, I will go to bed and sleep like the exhausted mama I am, and hopefully I will have a voice in the morning! Y'all have a good night! :)

Yes, I do cook dammit!

I very rarely cook during the summer. Quite frankly, I hate it. I would much rather let C grill something while I make macaroni salad and lots of fresh veggies.

Yet another reason I love fall is that I get to start cooking again. This weekend I am making chicken and dumplings with homemade bread. C is sick, she sounds miserable, so this should help some. Tomorrow I am making nothing (yet another wake), and Monday (Yep, still part of my weekend, Yeah ME!!) I am making ham and beans. I can't wait. I love fall days, the football on the screen (go UGA!!), and the smell of freshly baked bread. Nothing beats it. So, do you all cook or I the only one left on the planet??

*RIP John. One of my very best friends' dad passed on Wednesday with the same cancer that killed my dad. 3 months to the day people, this really sucks!!

Have I failed at my bloggy aspiration?

If you read the about me section of my page it indicates that originally I wanted to talk about politics, lgbt rights, feminism... you know all the fun interesting stuff that can really get my panties tied in a knot.

If you've read my blog since I started there may be three blog posts that relate to any of the above topics. Instead, I have blogged about my kids, my wife, the prison, my dad, etc... And so, I am wondering have I failed? Or, has it turned into something I didn't originally think I wanted?

See, the name of my blog describes me almost to a tee. I am the girly girl in the relationship. I am the one who collects pretty purses, sun glasses, shoes and feminine clothes. I am (for anyone who might be a lesbian and understand) typically a pillow princess. Which is not to say that I don't participate in the bedroom, it's just that I am typically not the agressor.

My wife says that is because the bedroom is the only place I feel safe enough to give someone else control over me. She is probably right, she often is. Okay, I realize I am totally off-topic here. Give me a minute.

I love my blog, I love that I feel safe enough to say what I want. I love that I have at least a few readers that seem to enjoy reading my occasionally lame crap.

So dear readers... what do you think? Did I fail, or did my blog morph into a weird lesbian mommy, prison bloggy thing?

Football Season is here again!! Yeah ME!!!

So, it is well known in my family that C and I love football. We love all kinds of football!

Specifically, she roots for Dallas and I root for Indianapolis. I know we are really, really weird but it works for us. It is really the only sport we watch together, aside from the end of season baseball. Yesterday was the first of the 'real' football games that we got to see. By 'real' I mean, of course, regular season. We were supposed to see Dallas beat up on Tampa Bay, but here in Misery if you can't get the Rams to play on TV they will do almost anything to avoid showing Dallas.

We watched Cleveland and Minnesota, Seattle vs. St. Louis, and finally Chicago vs. Green Bay. I love watching the Bears and the Packers play football, they do it old school that's for sure! They are on the field name calling, and pounding on each other like football should be.

We have also discovered that we are not capable of avoiding phone calls from friends and family in the middle of our Football Mania. Try as we might, we can never convince them all that we need to have family time on Sunday. Free from interruption. We also realized last night, we are completely screwed!! We have 4 children, there will never be a Sunday without interruption. Why? Oh Why?????

Anyway, pleased to announce that the 'Boys (Dallas for you novices) and the Colts both won yesterday, and all is still right with our world. How about you? Do you have a favorite football team??

Band practice, what beautiful music!

School has started, and my children are going to do a wonderful job this year. I just know it!! T (my son) has started band, he is playing the french horn. I was in band forever and a billion years, and I loved every.single.minute. of it. I can't wait to go to his concerts and let them all pierce my ears with their beautiful noises. Because... right now it is just noise. He doesn't know any notes yet, but he can make noise!

The noise is a cross between an elephant and a goose. Sort of a trumpeting sound with a honk thrown in at the end for good measure. C called on her way to work and said "he doesn't know how to play that thing!" Well, no kidding! He has to learn, and the learning is a beautiful thing. So, when I am holding my head during his twenty minutes of practice, someone remind me that learning is beautiful...mmmmkay?

The Diva has also started cheerleading practice so we wander around clapping and head-bobbing randomly. She's so cute!

The Princess wants to join some school counselor group, and the fairy princess officially missed her first day of school due to asthma today. I figure it is just the beginning. We are actually having a normal (read-hectic, crazy) week around here and it feels good! :)

Four reasons visiting Des Moines isn't good for me, and two that I love!

1. I gained 5 pounds in 4 days.
2. I was stuck in a house the size of a postage stamp for three days with all four children, two dogs, and my lovely wife.
3. I have to hear about my father-in-law's new girlfriends (Yes, I said GIRLFRIENDS!)
4. I had to refrain from beating my sister-in-law's ass.

The reasons I love Des Moines.

1. Smitty's makes the best tenderloin EVAH!!!
2. I got to spend time with my lovely wife, and we weren't in a prison.

We didn't get to go there for a social call, my wife's grandmother (who she loved like a mom) passed on Monday afternoon. C and I have now put everyone on notice...we are getting off this roller coaster now! No one else is allowed to have a problem for a little bit, while we regain our bearings. And, we still didn't get to get married.

To all of my friends, please pray!

This will be a short post, I have not posted on here about my dad out of respect for my mother, but he was diagnosed with colon cancer about a month ago.

He had surgery on Monday and last night started having what could be some really serious complications. He is having an emergency CT scan right now, and then they will tell my mom what they need to do next.

I am just asking for all of you to pray, I don't care what you believe in, just pray that my dad will make it through this. This man is larger than life to me, and I will be lost without him. I covet all your prayers. I will update as soon as I know something