Friday, January 29, 2010

So, if you're the wife is she the husband??

Today I present you with two examples of questions people ask about the gay community.

The first example comes from my supervisor. I was happy because The Diva called me 'step-mom' for the very first time last night. And I was telling everyone I could find, because it is really important to me. My boss said "I'm confused, I'm trying not to be insensitive, but if you call C your wife, then wouldn't you be the husband?"

I am not insulted by this. Not in the least. I didn't feel attacked, I didn't feel hurt. I felt like she asked out of an honest curiosity, and a desire to understand. I explained, again, that there are no men in our relationship, so we don't use male terms. I call C my wife, and she calls me her wife. I know some lesbians that go by male terminology, but C and I aren't those people. I know that some people consider me feminine, but there really is nothing more feminine than my wife with her blond hair down to her rear! She is beautiful, more beautiful than I ever thought I'd be blessed with.

Now, let me inundate you with the second example. The Diva is in the debate group. I don't know how extensive the debate training is in middle school, but I don't think they've been taught much sensitivity. So, today they were debating whether or not gay marriage should be allowed. Several of the boys were apparently very rude, with one of the most rude comments being "Gays should not marry because they will just make all their children gay."

The Diva interrupted at that point and said that wasn't true. They asked how she knew, and she said "because my mom's are gay." So, anyone that didn't know about her parents status knows now, and our brave little girl spent all afternoon crying. She cried for their ignorance, and she cried because she was angry. And most of all, she cried because the guidance counselor wouldn't let her call home. Can you believe that? She explained why she was upset, and the counselor just said no.

And then? Then she came home and cried with C. Then she put on her makeup and went to a birthday party, because that is what brave 15 year old girls do.

I know this has been long, but I hope you have read all of it. I have been thinking for days about the status of my relationship with C. I don't generally think about the fact that I am a lesbian, because I am out. C says I am like a bulldozer, tell me I can't do something and I'll do it all the faster. But, I feel bad for any children in the room today with the debate team who might be questioning their sexuality. With that kind of ignorance and hatred, they may stay in the closet as long as I did.

Any thoughts?

Thursday, January 28, 2010

And....They WON!!!

So, yes the Indians won. They are AWESOME!!! I have to tell you, I never thought I could get so excited about middle school sports, but those boys rock!!

They were behind most of the game, but they never gave up. They just kept plugging away, and tied with 2.2 seconds left on the clock! Then it took two rounds of overtime and plenty of penalties, but they won by 5 points! I am not the mom to any of these boys, but my Diva (the cheerleader) she sure does make this mama proud!

And to top it all...she called me her step-mom tonight!! I don't know if anyone else has lived in a blended family, but I have waited almost three years to hear that word! Normally I am just 'my Rebecca', but tonight to one of her friends I became her step-mom. I actually teared up, she made me so happy!

So, I will go to bed and sleep like the exhausted mama I am, and hopefully I will have a voice in the morning! Y'all have a good night! :)

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hey Y'all... GO INDIANS!!!!!

So, I was never a basketball person. All my life I've watched either baseball or football. Oh, and we can ignore those 11 years where I was forced to watch Nascar. Oh the horrors!

Anyway, The Diva is a basketball cheerleader. And the boy who is not a boyfriend (she can't date yet), is a basketball player. So, I have gone to all but two of the games this year, and I *gasp* enjoy it!! The boys basketball team is going to the championship game tomorrow!! Yeah!! And, while I still don't understand all the specifics, I can safely say I enjoy middle school basketball.

So, go team!! Go Diva!! Here's to hoping they win tomorrow!!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

C has an interview!!

C is going to be interviewing at another Prison in about a week or so. It is for a Corrections Training Officer. Basically she would be the trainer for that entire institution.

I know how badly she wants this, she is an awesome teacher! She has such patience, and such good little pieces of wisdom, it is an amazing thing to watch her teach.

She normally teaches defensive tactics, firearms, chemical weapons, etc. Your normal classroom stuff, LOL!

So, good luck my sunshine! I hope you get everything you've ever wanted!!

Oh, and she would make more money than I do, wooo hoooo! :) Good Luck Baby!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

For the record, I am not a people person...

Today I got called on the carpet by my boss for not being a people person. For the record, I am actually very sensitive. If people actually knew how much I worried about whether or not they like me, they would think I was a whiny suck-up.

All of that aside, there is a place for friends and friendliness. If I work in a prison with you, and you are out in the control module the chances of me asking about your boyfriend, girlfriend or your weekend plans are slim to none.

Now, if you need something I will be the first person in line to help you out. I will do whatever I can, donate whatever extra I have, or find someone who can help you if I can't.

I wish people would not assume that because I am about business at work, that I have no heart and no soul. FYI, the offenders don't want to talk to me about their personal issues because I am THE disciplinarian. I am the only one who regularly deals with their violations and places them on restriction, or in administrative segregation. Would you want to go see the principal about your boyfriend issues, if the principal just gave you a month's worth of detention?? Probably not. The inmates also know that I am probably the best one to have on their side if they are having mental health issues or issues with disabilities. Even my supervisors know this. That is why I work in the housing unit I work in. Just please know that I am in a prison every day for 8 to 10 hours to work, not to be friends with the inmates or all the staff.

I do have a heart, I have a soul, and I have cried over these inmates and their lives more than anyone will ever know. I worry about them even when I am at home, just so everyone knows.

An aside... noone I know from work reads this, but I had to vent a little because really! Even when the warden says it doesn't matter what other people think of you, it only matters what your supervisor thinks, it still hurts to be called a bitch at least twice a day, every day!!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The independent voice of Massachusetts??

So now, there is a new senator in the place of Ted Kennedy. I was never an outspoken fan of Teddy, he was probably one of the Kennedy's I liked the least aside from Joe Sr.

But really??? We had an opportunity to pass healthcare legislation in this country, and the voters of Mass. took it upon themselves to take that away? I know that it isn't healthcare like I would like. I don't know about you all, but I work full time. I work a lot, and I still can't afford all of my children's healthcare coverage. I also make too much (according to Missouri) for the children to qualify for state healthcare coverage. I was really hoping that the public option would remain in effect. I know that it isn't going to happen, but we have to have some kind of change! It should be illegal that children and old people die every year because they are poor. Or, because their parents are the working poor.

People assume that if I am behind a public option then I must be living on state aid, food stamps, etc. Actually it is the exact opposite. I work really hard, I haven't taken a dime of state aid for 10 years, and yet for some reason I can't afford the Fairy Princess and the Diva's $200 a month in meds for their asthma. Oh, and the Diva has an ulcer because she is a worrier, like her mama. C and I don't take the meds we need, or go to the doctor because we have to pay for the kids monthly trips to the doc, and their monthly meds.

Do I sound whiny? I hope not. I hope you will read this and see it for what it is. Someone who is tired of constantly paying into a system that doesn't help me, or the other law enforcement people that I hang out with. Think about that...the people who protect everyone from the offenders, and the offenders from everyone else are the ones doing without. We are the ones without medicine and medical care, we are the ones giving our all to make sure our kids don't do without. I am tired people, tired of seeing no change. President Obama that goes for you too! Do more, argue more, I've done my part. Fight more for the people you profess to care so much about!

That is all...comments??

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Epic FAIL and Happy Birthday!

So, the other day I posted a long post about how I can't leave my house for 5 minutes without my middle two children making a disaster. And, then right before I hit 'publish post', the phone rang.

For those of you who don't have Charter cable and dsl, I am happy for you. In our house Charter cable means that even with dsl, and my wireless motem, I can't be on the phone and the internet at the same time! How dumb is that?? So, then I got off the phone (thank you Citibank student loans) and tried to publish my new post and the damn internet wouldn't come back up. In order to turn it back on I have to go to my router and unplug and replug in the cables. We have had Charter out to fix it twice. They say nothing is wrong, I say they are lost in a sea of inadequacy and ignorance!!

Anyway, on to the Happy Birthday part! Happy birthday to the fairy princess!! She is a very big 6 year old girl, and I can't figure out how that happened!! She truly is my awe renewed!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

I'm back!!

Hello? Internet friends, is anyone still here? I haven't been here for a minute, mostly because I couldn't find anything I really wanted to say. Last year was really hard in our house, and I figured no one wanted to hear from the sad Becca during the holiday season. However, I am happier now and I miss here goes!

We are picking up all of the children tomorrow and I am totally psyched about it!! The small three went to Atlanta on Christmas Eve, and the Diva left for Mexico on Christmas morning. So C and I spent our first Christmas alone. We actually had a really nice time, and were not too depressed without the kiddos.

I had a wonderful birthday, and got some really nice presents. C bought me Julie and Julia (Outstanding movie y'all!), two new vampire books, and a robe. I am done with both books which means I need to take my stash to the used book store to get some new ones.

Oh, and happy 3rd year anniversary to the love of my life! I would be totally lost without her. She is my sunshine, every day!!

The dog program is slightly off schedule, as we are busy waiting for the State to finish the Memorandum of Understanding before we can bring the puppies to the prison. Could we please move a little faster???

This is the first year I have been away from the Diva in three years, and I can't wait to see how much she has changed. She has had a blast in Mexico, which is great for her and I am glad to see her spread her wings a little.

And finally, thank you to the U.S. Postal Service who delivered her passport at 7pm on Christmas Eve so the Diva didn't have to stay home with us. The post-mistress in our town rocks, I'm just sayin! She drove all the way to St. Louis, picked up the passport and hand delivered it to my house. All while C was at work, and I was in Tennessee with the Diva dropping of the babies.

So... here is to a New Year! I know it will be a better year for all of us, and I can't wait to see the changes that happen! I love you all, and thank you for being there every time I've needed to talk!