Thursday, June 30, 2011

Two Years

It has been two years today since my Daddy passed. I am still sad. Not everyday, but some days I wake up and think "I need to tell Daddy"... and then I realize I don't get to tell him anything because he is gone. I miss him, and some days it feels like it was just yesterday that he was here with us.

I hate that my Mama is still so sad, but I believe I understand. I hate to hear people say "She'll get over it." Really? I mean really, would you get over losing your best friend? I don't think I would after 32 years.

Things are better most days, but I still miss him. I grieve for the fact that he will never see his great grandbabies. I grieve for the fact that the first time my mother sat down to have dinner with my wife, he was not here.

I believe that he is still here with us in our hearts, and that is how we breathe in and out every day and keep on moving. He would expect nothing less.

"Life is about finding balance" - KNA

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Love the life you have...

I used to tell Crys that I try to be content in wherever I find myself. I must say that in the last 4 months that has beein increasingly hard to do. I say all that to say this...

When you wake up in the morning and you are comfortable in your skin, you are where you need to be. Even if you have to take vacation to get there, try to find it!! I know that I am not comfortable in my skin every day that I go to work, I know that I am not comfortable in my skin every day as a mom. But, I know that I am comfortable in my skin every single day in my relationship with my wife. Crys is the best friend I never knew I needed, and she gives me everything I could ever want. My life may not be normal compared to some people, but what is normal? Why would we ever want to go back to 'vanilla'?

I love my wild, crazy, abnormal life!! Just my thought for the day!! :)

Saturday, June 4, 2011

So, what happened??

I had surgery on the 20th, and they let me know Thursday that I was all clear. They took two pre-cancerous papillomas and a mass the size of a golf ball out of my left breast. Which begs the question, how can they take that much out and my breast is still the same size? I am now on a horrendous amount of antibiotics, because they believe that the two lumps they found under the nipple are infected lymph nodes. Then in six months I will have another mammogram and ultrasound. I seriously was really crazy by the time they told me because it took a long damn time!!

I am hopeful that this means the craziness is over in my house for a while. We are trying to move, spending time with the middle daughter who is home for the summer. I sure do wish she would stay.

Thank you to all my friends who spent the day with me, or called, or wrote to ask if I was alright, and a special thank you to Crys (my love, my wife) who held my hand and explained what they did over and over to a groggy crazy lady with too much anesthesia!! :)