The other day I read an article to C wherein the Lutheran Church has finally decided to accept us (teh gays, I mean really do they care about little ol' me??) the way we are. To the point where they will even reinstate people who they previously ousted because they were open and honest about their personal lives.
That got me to thinking... do I want to be accepted for who I am now?? I mean if they didn't want me or my kind then, then do I want to be a part of them now? I'm not trying to sound mean or cold hearted, but coming out was hard for me. It meant giving up some of the people I considered to be family, and understanding that my life would never be the same again. I'm not complaining, I am happier now than ever before in my life. I know, deep inside me, that I am where I am supposed to be. But it was hard. I had to tell C that I didn't know if I was going to be able to do it, and then I had to decide if I was strong enough to do it.
Then I had to tell my Mama and my Daddy. For those that don't know, I was raised Southern Baptist. You all surely know how hard this was, I can't imagine how hard it was for my parents to hear that I was going to "CHOOSE" to be different than I had been all my life. I came out three years ago in February at the age of 32.
Parts of me wish I had come out 15 years ago when I first had questions, but really didn't know. We teach our daughters that that part of themselves that we all term 'virginity' is sacred. It is special, something to be given only to someone you love with all your heart, mind and soul. Part of me wishes C had been that person, part of me feels sad that she wasn't the first and only I shared that with. But...if I hadn't been married to the EX, three of the kiddos wouldn't be here. And, if C hadn't been with her ex, the eldest wouldn't be here either. So, it's kind of a toss up.
I say all this to say that I want to be more involved in the LGBT community in my area. I want to prop them up, and shout from the rafters that I believe in this cause, I believe in US!! But, I really don't know how. I don't have extra money to give them. And, with four children, work, and Phoenix Flight I kind of run out of time to breathe. So... How do I do this?? How do I help them and all of us gain the acceptance the Lutheran's have graciously granted us from everyone else?? Clear as mud? I hope so!! :)
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