Ok... a post about "Sister Wives"

How are you all doing? I thought we could have a light discussion about 'Sister Wives'.

I don't watch very much reality television. We watch Amazing Race and So You Think You Can Dance, but we don't watch any (up to now) that involve people's supposed 'real' relationships.

I was intrigued by Sister Wives to begin with just because it is unusual. Y'all understand, it's kind of like watching a train wreck. You just can't look away.

I was really impressed by the format of the show, it's not at all like other 'relationship' based reality shows with the constant fighting and arguing. There is no screaming, and they all seem to be very in tune with their needs and the needs of their kids.

We were discussing bizarre behavior that people exhibit while I was at work today, and I said "basically you can do what you want in your own home, as long as you don't attract undue attention by buying large amounts of weapons (just an example), or punishing your wife and children outside your home." So I ask, do you all think that all of the attention being given to the 'legality' of sister wives Kody Brown is brought about because he is on television showing off his lifestyle, or do you think someone would have eventually made life difficult for them all either way?

I don't know how I feel about it. I am a tolerant individual, and I pretty much don't care what you do in your home as long as it is not forced on me. Technically speaking Kody is not breaking any laws, he is only legally married to one of the women. My point here, I guess, is that if it works for their family and the females involved were all consenting adults then what business is it of anyone elses? Is it any different than enjoying a polyamorous lifestyle, with a little religion thrown in on the side?

And can I just say, I find their honesty about their issues to be refreshing. I find the hierarchy interesting, kind of like watching a sociology experiment gone viral. What are your thoughts?

National Crime Victim's recognition week

I am no longer a victim, I am forever more a survivor.
I have survived my past, grown, and am constantly moving forward.
Even if I have saved no one else, I saved my last child.
She will (hopefully) never know the pain of a violent home.
If you have friends who are suffering...

Don't give up! Please, I know there were friends who tried to help me.
When your friend is tired of the shit, tired of lying to her or himself...
When they are tired of the constant fear, knowing you are there will be a blessing.
Be there for them. If you are living with violence now, then get help.
Know that it won't last forever. Know that in the end, you make the decision.

The decision whether to live or die in the violence you survive in daily.
Get out, save yourself and your children (even if they don't exist yet!)
It will be the hardest, best choice you have ever made!

Glee will probably save lives!

Are you done laughing at my title? Good, now I'll explain.

When I was a young person trying to make a decision about who I was deep down inside, there were no (really!!) role models that were gay. There were no acceptable gay people, there were only the people you heard about compared to pedophiles and sickos.

I still remember 4 and 1/2 years ago when I was still trying to make a decision as to who I was as a 32 year old woman, there were very few people I could look to as responsible role models for this life. Sure there's Ellen, and while I love her, she is not enough on her own to help me decide what to do with my life.

Last night when I watched Glee (yes, I watch and I loooovvvveee) I cried when Santana and Brittany sang with Gwyneth Paltrow. I cried harder when Santana cried. I was almost balling by the time she begged Brittany "I love you. Tell me you love me back, please!" The Diva said "I don't understand" when Santana was crying during the song. The reason she was crying is because she was scared and she didn't know what to do. I felt all those things a very short time ago when my beautiful C said "I love you, Tell me you love me. Please!!" I was scared and I pushed her away for about two weeks before I made my decision. I hurt her and I still feel guilt for that. But we are together, and I am forever blessed by her presence in my life.

I say all that to say this, if Glee had been around when I was a teen I probably would never have married a man. I hate to be that blunt, but I know this is the life I was meant to live and there are times when I wholeheartedly wish C was the only one I had ever been with. We need to support our gay youth, and it has gotten so much better in certain places. It still needs to get better, but with continued shows like this and positive young people I have full faith that it will!

Please continue to support any youth you know that may be going through this turmoil, I know I would have given anything for a comforting shoulder!!

The horror of new schools...

So many of you know that my son, T, is bipolar with a side of adhd. I've talked about it a few times on this site, but mostly we just try to deal on a day by day basis. Anyway, T's issues are not the subject of today's torture with school, it's just to let you know that I believe our family has already been handed enough tricks.

So today I called the Fairy Princess's school because she has been having some issues with her school work. I am not what you could call a helicopter parent. I don't hover, I tend to try to let them work their own issues out. But, when I get a paper where my first grader got a c on her reading because her words per minute score is not fast enough, I get a little bent. According to the world wide web, the average words per minute for a first grader is 50 to 70. Fairy Princess got a c for a 49 word per minute average.

Why can't we all understand that all children learn at their own pace?? Why when I call the school, does the teacher tell me that I need to take my child to the pediatrician to ask why she isn't concentrating? I know you are all "Becca, just get past it, every child has issues", but I can't. I am listening to a teacher telling me that my youngest child is not concentrating, she loses her center time almost every day, and she does not ever complete her work.

I have not been told by Fairy Princess's teachers in the last two years that she has problems concentrating. I admit I was frustrated by the amount of homework she has brought home, but I didn't ever know there was a problem with her concentration. Now, she loses her center time daily because she doesn't finish her seat work. When I ask what to do I am told to take her to the doctor to see about meds that could help with concentration. WTF????? I don't want to do this with another child. I don't want her to have a problem, I don't want this life for her. It is so hard, and I am sooooo tired of having to deal with all of these issues everyday.

So, I ask, am I overreacting? Did we have this problem all along, and nobody told me? Have I failed my another one of my children by not noticing a problem fast enough? Sincerely, Becca the tired and frustrated!!

The Fairy Princess has found her temper!!

So I often tell the story of how happy the Fairy Princess is. She is the youngest of 4 children and she frequently has to go along to get along. I just thought that every youngest child was this way, but I am told by my friends that this is not often so.

On to my story... The Fairy Princess is now going through her terrible two's. Now some of you may remember, she just turned 7. Not two people, s.e.v.e.n!!! How do you find the terrible two's at the age of 7? I love the baby, we all do, she is normally just a giant ball of sunshine. But she turned 7, and the next day, the demon child appeared. She has now decided that it is perfectly alright to scream, cry and stomp her feet. Today C put her in the corner, and then sent her to her room to clean it. I came home, room is still not clean, back to the corner she went.

It really is kind of funny, but at the same time, C and I are both like WTF???? Where did this child come from, and can we please have the happy Princess Fairy back???

BTW, Let me know if you see a 7 year old wandering down the highway with her thumb out. It might be the original Fairy Princess who has lost her way!!

All moved in, now why can't I get comfortable??

I know the answer to the question by the way, it takes a long time to get comfortable. I wasn't comfortable at my last prison over night, and it won't happen over night here either. But, to all of you who read my site, it would be really nice if someone has some words of wisdom or comfort that isn't "Oh Becca, you're so smart, you'll fit just fine."

Anyway, we are officiallyh moved in and I am still really tired, and the internet connection in this house sucks the life out of me every time I move a different direction!!

I am still trying to get used to work, my children are now alllll in school. I say that because the Diva has apparently been missing a required immunization for 6 years and Mississippi County caught it. Not 6 months, but 6 years people. So, she didn't get to start for a week after T. The Fairy Princess started today too, and she had the most awful day (according to the 6 year old) in her whole life...

So, I had a slight meltdown and told them that I couldn't handle hearing any more complaints about us moving down to bfe, and that if we could just all please suck it up I would be incredibly happy. So, the worst mother in the world award goes to yours truly!

Hopefully I'll find my sanity soon, because I need to just feel normal again and this going round and round in my own head is making me tired. Oh so tired.....

Busy, busy, busy...

Ok, so I know I haven't been here in a long damn time. Here's my list of excuses...

1. I am busier than crap now that I got promoted.
2. I don't have a real computer where I am staying.
3. I was too worried about all the stuff going to really post honestly about it!!

Anyway, now the good news! C got the transfer to my new institution. Yeah!! And, she gets to keep her rank which was really, really important to her. Last night was her last night at our old institution, so I imagine she is nervous and worried about that, but she doesn't talk about it. We found a place to live that is bigger than a shoebox. Really you should have seen the place I was staying. Tiny doesn't adequately describe it. We are moving on Thursday and Friday which gives me three days (WTF?????) to pare down and pack everything we really want to take. I don't know why, but I really feel like we have been packrats for long enough, and now is the time to remedy the situation. My 3 kiddos that live here full time have school until Wednesday, so I know they are freaking out about everything too.

The Diva broke up with the boyfriend, which led to an angry phone call and a couple of back-handed facebook posts to me, which really??? Why get involved in our kids business like that? They are 15 and 16, and it was their first boyfriend/girlfriend experience. They will be fine. Even if the other mother thought for sure everyone was going to get married and live happily ever after. Again, WTF?

Also, KBear, my middle daughter who ran off to live in Texas with her Dad, is home for the Winter holiday. I am so happy to see her, but I want us to have a nice time, and I am worried as crap that she will use any excuse to fight with the Diva. Today we are going to my Aunt's house for our christmas with them, which means I lose a whole day of packing, but we don't see them very often so I just go with the flow.

I will probably not post again until after the new year because we are going to be super-busy, and I don't know how I'm going to get it all done between now and then and OMG just breathe dammit!! Anyway, know that I am still reading all of your stuff, and thinking about you all everyday. Have a blessed winter season, no matter what you celebrate!! :)