I was going to write a post about how Don't ask Don't Tell has finally been declared unconstitutional, and how wonderful that is, but then C brought up the fact that we (as a couple, and as individuals) are still not being given equal rights on a daily basis. In fact, she had been thinking about her own blog post, but I asked and she doesn't feel ready, or just won't, or whatever. So here goes, I hope I can do her thoughts justice!
We've always known DADT is unconstitutional. Even when C and I were both in the military, we knew. Neither of us were OUT then, and we both were trying so hard to live in the roles we were born in to. However, now we both know in our hearts the other pieces of our lives that are unconstitutional.
We have no protection as a couple, or as individual citizens under the law in our state. If you look at it and bend the glass a bit, our not being allowed to marry is also a violation of our first amendment rights. We, unlike other Americans, are not allowed the freedom of expression that others enjoy. We would love to freely express the depth of our love together by marrying. I do not look at marriage as a religious contract, but rather a civil contract. After all, we would then be protected at hospitals, when we try to adopt, and on our death beds.
No one would be able to keep her from me if I were dying, and vice versa. Let me tell you, right now that is one of the things that scares me most. If I am gone, no judge will tell her she can keep the two children who still live with us. If she is gone, no one will be able to stop her crazy-ass mother from coming down here to get The Diva.
And yet...we work for the State. We can't hold hands in public (in most places), we can't get married, for God's sake we can't even smoke in a restaraunt!! That last part is meant lightly, but think about it. I often think about the fact that they will legalize marijuana, shortly after they outlaw smoking in public.
We uphold the laws of the State of Misery, we protect the people of this state from those they would all remain seperate from, and yet there is no protection for us. I am not allowed to use the size of our family to qualify for any services whatsoever, because we are not one unit under the law. And yet, when I tried to qualify my children for reduced lunch fees, we were counted as one unit, and suddenly made too much money!! I can't qualify for family status on my benefits at work, and heaven help me, if she were killed while working (or vice versa) they wouldn't give us administrative leave to attend the other's funeral because we are not legally wed. People I know think that I am too serious about this, but I simply ask what if you were suddenly told you couldn't marry because your potential heterosexual partner was of a different race, ethnic group, or religion? I bet you'd take it just as seriously.
So, we keep fighting, I will continue to bring this topic to light at work, and we keep working to protect the citizens of the State Of Misery!!
It's Getting Cate In Here
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