So, good afternoon intranets! I read a post at today talking about a discussion she had with her son at some point.
It reminded me of my own son coming home and telling me that some of the mean kids were calling him 'gay' and using the word 'fag' to describe him. My son knew what 'gay' was, but the first time he heard it he didn't know what 'fag' was. I felt bad for not preparing him, but I also thought he was almost 13, shouldn't he have known what that was?
Fast forward to almost a month ago, and one of my other friends (who is also a lesbian) told me that a child of a mutual acquaintance of ours had called her daughter a 'fag.' She then had to explain it to her daughter because, like my son, she had never heard it before.
This leads to my point (a tad long winded, I know!), are we as gay parents not preparing our kids for life in the real world by avoiding what we deem an extremely ugly word? I know personally, that word is not allowed in our house. But, when I voiced my concern to another mom (who is hetero) she said perhaps I was being overly sensitive. Her statement was "all the kids say it, it's just a saying."
I disagree wholeheartedly! To me, and most gays, it is a word most often used in hate speech. It is a word used to denigrate and demean the gay,bi,queer,tran members of the community. But, should we be explaining it to our children young? Should they know what the word is, so they are hurt earlier, or should we explain it when it happens?
I am torn. I want to protect my son, but my stomach turns when I even use that word in a sentence. I know that before I even came out I deemed the word 'fag' to be hate speech. I always felt (probably because I hid for so long) that the people who were openly gay deserved our sincere respect for their strength. So that is my question...
When do we prepare our kids for the ugliness in this world? What do you think??
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