Why the Real L Word really SUCKS!!

Ok, so I watched the show last week and was not impressed. However, being the judgemental, hateful bitch that I can be I thought I'd give Ms. Chaiken another chance.

All that being said, this show totally blows!!! First scenario...One of the couples, Rose and Natalie, go out for their 7 month anniversary. While Natalie is definitely (maybe) wrong for bringing up babies and marriage this early, Rose definitely wins the douche award for saying "Cheers to my love, you are lucky you have it." WTF????? Ok, you are allowed to believe that you are lucky or blessed to be receiving the love of your partner, but you are most definitely not allowed to be hyper-obsessed with your worth on this planet!

Second scenario...Whitney goes out with what has to be her 5th partner in the second show, and then kisses her. Then later she is on the phone with the same girl, while all the while the girl who moved out to LA to be with her is sleeping in her bedroom. And, the kicker, she tells the girl on the phone that she doesn't have the willpower to not hit on her physically. Again W.T.F????? These are not the lesbians in my world.

The other problem I have is that they are all rich, powerful, ego-filled twits with no thoughts of anything but themselves! At least in the other L Word we could put aside their ego-filled b.s. and focus on the fact that it was fiction! There was a storyline, that was at times drama filled fluff, but at other times was very powerful and touching. I find it hard to believe that every lesbian in LA is successful, wealthy, and powerful. I think there are probably quite a few that are struggling to pay their bills, clothe their children, and work normal jobs every day.

So...here is my rant for the day. Eilleen you can suck it! I will no longer torment myself with this supposed "Real L Word." I had such high hopes... If you are a normal lesbian in LA, or even one of the successful ones, feel free to comment.

p.s. This is one of the primary reasons that the conservative right thinks we do nothing but sleep with all the girls we can find and drink all day long!!

Pride Weekend, and why we didn't go...

So...this weekend is Pride weekend. It is something I look forward to all year long. I love being able to immerse myself in my community, hold hands with my wife on the street, and not worry about our safety. It has been my favorite thing to do since I came out, I love the parties, all the people, the crowds, all of it.

We are not going this year, again. I didn't get to go last year because I was at the hospital for 3 straight days before my Daddy died. It was horrible, awful and I swore that I would go to Pride this year, if only to forget for a few moments. Except that I can't forget. As we get closer to the anniversary, I just want to lay down in my bed and not move. I took the week off at work so I don't have to deal with staff or offenders, who are often unwittingly insensitive. They don't mean to be, but people forget about the important things in others lives.

We also can't go due to the financial situation in our household, and the situation with T. As we are still struggling to keep up with our bills, it seems irresponsible to go blow money that we don't have. And literally, we don't have it. We would just have to wander around and not spend money, which kind of ruins the whole thing.

As far as the situation with T goes...we still can't leave him here by himself with the girls. And, I don't really feel comfortable leaving him with friends. What if he has a meltdown? What if he goes ballistic and they don't know what to do to help him?? We had a meltdown this morning over the dishes, something he agreed to do today. He doesn't understand why he has to do them this early in the morning, and I want to be able to cook breakfast. Perfect setting for a meltdown, and nothing I say or do makes this any better either. And...it's not early! It's almost 10 am for crying out loud. I am being reminded weekly that we can't give in, we have to follow through, but I'm telling you sometimes these battles just suck. Never mind that sometimes it's hard to tell what is typical teenage behavior, and what is a symptom.

So...Happy Pride Weekend Everyone!! I want to be there, and am there in spirit. Hopefully next year will find me at the City Diner watching the Parade and ignoring the protestors!!

So much to say, so little time...

I haven't been here in about a month. I thought at first that I would just lay low for the month of June, as it is two weeks before the year anniversary of my Daddy's passing. But, I am here, and now I don't know the words to use.

T has been diagnosed bi-polar (finally, a diagnosis), and he has been working really hard on his counseling and therapy. We are going to let him play football in the fall, and he is really excited. I am hopeful that it will be one more step toward a stable life at home. Also, his room has been clean for 9 days now. 21 more and he can have his tv back, and he wants to get his ear pierced. We are learning to support and discipline, not simply support.

Among the other changes, my 11 year old has decided she would like to live with her father. I thought about this and prayed about this, and there is no easy answer. I will not make her stay, when she is obviously miserable. Also, I will not make everyone else in this household miserable by having to deal with her unhappiness.

And so... I write this, and while I know I overshare, I hope for your thoughts and kind words. I am heartbroken at the thought of losing my child, but I hope that she will find the place she needs to be.

Two children graduate tomorrow...I feel Ooooooold!

I am not going to talk about how I feel ancient today, no I am going to avoid the fact that I feel Ooooolld right now. No one ever told me that I was going to have one in eigth grade and one in kindergarden at the same time.

Tomorrow, the Diva (8th) and the Fairy Princess (K) graduate. They are both going to wear pretty dresses (only one of which I had to pay for) and pretty shoes, and do their hair. They are both going to sing (??)

Now...here comes the ignorant part! The Diva (remember I said 8th) graduates at 9:00 am tomorrow. Why?? Because then they have a bowling party field trip after that. Again why?????? Oh yeah, so the Diva and the Boy (boy-friend??) could tell both sets of parents that they don't want to go bowling. Especially not in the new dress (yes, I bought another DAMN dress.) So, I guess they expect me to make her go sit in a classroom and watch a movie while all of her friends go to the stupid bowling alley (the same one that does not carry shoes in the Boy's size.) Well...that is not going to happen my friends. We are going to take her to lunch and give her flowers, and come home and nap.

Then, when the other three kiddos get off the bus, I will get up and re-bathe the Fairy Princess and do her hair and put her dress on. Then I will take her to her Kindergarten graduation at 6 pm. Personally, I think they did this whole mess backwards.

So, think of me tomorrow when I have to re-do my makeup to go to the second graduation of the day, where I will undoubtedly cry harder. And think of the Fairy Princess, who told me the other day that all she wanted for graduation was her Grandpa. We all still miss him so much, but it is hardest on the baby. I wait with baited breath for the next big step...

I survived the great dress search of 2010!

I am officially Superwoman, just so y'all know! I just spent the better part of 5 hours at two different malls and Davids Bridal (David can suck it!!) with 4 girls aged 15, 11, 9, and 6!!

So, I must be Superwoman, or I will have to admit I've fallen off the crazy train and need a straight jacket right.frickin'.now!! Anyway, after all of that we have a dress and shoes for the same price as the dress alone at David's Bridal (makes sense, the sucking, now doesn't it??) The Diva has tried on every pink dress Macy's has for sale this year, except the overly long obviously-prom dress types.

She finally found the same dress for $70 less, and decided that she really did like that dress after all.

So, I'm home with three girls and a boy and am going to turn in and take a much needed vicodin. No, I didn't lose a girl...she went back to her own house to sleep. I had traded T for a neighbor girl because he didn't want to go to the mall with 4 girls. I understand now why he didn't want to go...

JV Cheer Squad, here we come!!

The Diva made the jv cheer squad. I think she's happy, although her first comment was "I don't know why I didn't make varsity I caught the girl they dropped!"

We are officially entering a new era in our household. In a few short months we are going to be the parents of a high school cheerleader! Ack!! What will I do?? After wringing my hands in fear that I may never be home again next year, I have decided...it will be ok. I may never have any money ever again, but I will be ok. When I was filling out the paperwork for her to try out I may have skipped (ran) past the dollar signs attached, but now I am fully aware this will cost me an arm and a leg.

Will they give you $550 if you donate an arm and a leg to science?? Probably not, so my new plan is to start saving now and hope that she gets the summer job she is interviewing for at Six Flags.

Oh, and by the way, we also have a spring formal in two weeks and graduation (8th grade) a week after that. So, we need two dresses, a strapless bra and some rockin' shoes (for the spring formal of course!!)

Pray for me peeps, I'm off to find that bottle of Southern Comfort now. Oh wait...I have to pick her up from track practice tonight! How many things can she find to do before we are both overwhelmed??

C really is a Vampire Princess!!!

So, C decided to go to the doctor as she has been sick (cough due to cold, anyone???) for a minute now. That is an offender minute by the way, not an irl minute, so it could last from 20 minutes to 49 years. Just so you know...

Anyway, the doc was concerned so he ordered blood tests and we got the results yesterday. She, my lovely wife, is... Vitamin D Deficient!! Apparently the numbers on an average human should run between 50 and 100. While C is hovering at 5.6. Not 46, but 5.6!! I have never even heard of someone being Vitamin D deficient, so I really never knew that it could make you sick. Like, really, really don't want to get out of bed, look like a truck ran over you sick. Apparently, that is exactly what happens.

So now she has to take some gel tab thing once a week for a helluva long time, and then we get to go back and re-draw her blood. By the why drawing her blood is like looking for a needle in a haystack, or something equally difficult. 3 years ago it took 5 chemo nurses 11 sticks for 9 tubes of blood just to find out she has some random clotting disorder. Fun stuff huh???

I am so looking forward to having to force her to take meds to fix this little issue...NOT!! And, the Doc says something bizarre about how she is not absorbing the Vitamin D from the sun like she is supposed to. Well duh...she works evenings. She sleeps in the afternoon, and rarely goes out before dark. Why would this be a problem??

So here's to the princess of darkness, the love of my life!! :)