So, now I have had a whopping 5 hours of sleep and I feel almost human.
Mama called this morning and asked me if I slept. Why yes, I fell asleep at two and slept til 7. Then she said I should call her if I needed to talk. I still can't talk coherently about any of this. I keep repeating shit and I am sure my friends are all tired of hearing about it.
I couldn't fall asleep last night, because I kept thinking I didn't tell him goodbye. I told him he did a good job, and he was so strong, but I didn't tell him I would see him again. And, I can't get that image out of my head. I am 34 years old and I feel like a 9 year old, who just can't focus. What do I do about that?
How do you wrap your head around the fact that the man who has been your dad since you were two is gone? I don't know how to do it. I don't know what to do. I told my Princess that he would be okay. My fairy princess (aka the cookie queen) cried like her heart was breaking. She is 5, he was her dat! How do I make that better for them? And what do I tell my son??? My daddy was the only full time male presence he had in his life.
This just sucks, and I wish I could wake up and it would all be done. How immature is that?
You're A Good Woman, Murphy Brown
17 hours ago